A-ruse-d
by PoodlesKitten
Summary: Sydney and Vaughn are stuck in a motel room with Marshal and gal next door and an SD-6 outside. What to do?
1. Let the Game Begin

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Alias, or any of its characters, yadda yadda yadda. JJ Abrams does and I'm not even sure if he's aware they're being rented for fanfics. 

CREDITS: I just wanted to thank my friends Thorne and Julia for being so delightfully naughty and planting the seed that wrought forth this fic. SO BLAME THEM IF YOU HATE IT. 

RATED R: Adult situations, suggestive dialogue... and its only going to get worse!

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A-ruse-d

UNDISCLOSED MOTEL, ROOM 2-C

Sydney and Vaughn were trapped. They had been exchanging snipes over the situation for the last five minutes.

"This is getting us nowhere!" Vaughn growled. He took off his suit jacket and tossed it onto the bed, cursing in frustration.

"Well who in their right mind picks a motel to conduct covert CIA briefings?" Sydney Bristow seethed, her hands planted firmly on her hips.

Vaughn gave Sydney an icy stare. His brow was furrowed tightly, giving the illusion of horns peeking up from beneath the flesh on his forehead. "Well how was I supposed to know that little geek would be here, and with a date that wasn't electronically enhanced?" Vaughn hissed.

"Oh, Marshall!"

Sydney rolled her eyes. "For God's sake, how long are they going to go at it?"

Vaughn's ire was momentarily erased by the image of Sydney wearing white feathery wings and a shimmering golden halo. "Well, some guys like to take things slow," he softly informed her. 

"You obviously have never dealt with Marshall. He doesn't take anything slow."

Vaughn's spine tingled at the coolness in Sydney's eyes. He was distracted once again, this time watching Sydney's beautiful white angel wings set ablaze by a naked red-skinned Sydney wearing horns and a deliciously evil grin. He shook the thought away, silently scolding himself for going to that strip club with Weiss the night before.

Sydney marched to the window and cautiously parted two of the blinds wide enough to peer through. She huffed angrily at the sight of the parked navy blue sedan. "That damn SD-6 tail is still out there."

Vaughn heaved an exasperated sigh. "Their jittery tech ops guy was spotted with a non-inflatable date who wasn't running in fear. They probably think the girl's K-Directorate or something."

Sydney shot her most disgusted face at Vaughn and returned her gaze out the window. She smirked. She had to admit, Vaughn had a point. Marshall often bemoaned the fact that his only real dates were disasters and he hadn't had a date outside of the Star Trek chat room in months. She supposed this would raise some flags with Sloane. "Well we have to do something!"

Vaughn stared blankly at his agent. "What do you expect us to do? There's only one way out of here."

"We need a plan. Some sort of distraction."

"Why can't we just sit here and talk until they leave?" He already knew the answer. If SD-6's tail was outside, chances are they weren't only watching Marshall's room. It would make better sense to also watch the rooms next to and around to ensure no observation or listening teams were present. "What kind of distraction?"

The corner of Sydney's ample lips curled mischievously. She turned to face Vaughn. She was smirking and her brown eyes were twinkling playfully. She raised a knowing and expectant eyebrow. "We need to make some noise."

"I think we took care of that with our argument, Syd." Vaughn raised an eyebrow. He felt the blood rush to his face as he took note of Sydney's mischievous smile. Oh, the noises I'd like to hear you make.

Sydney studied Vaughn's face and the blush spreading across his cheekbones. I'm going to have so much fun with him. She broke into a maniacal fit of giggles.

Vaughn asked himself, yet again, why he was so convinced his agent wasn't truly insane. Particularly at moments like this, when her coffee brown eyes flashed maniacally as if she were a magical elf who just cast some mischievous spell. "I don't know what you have brewing in that pretty little head of yours, but whatever it is I want no part of it."

Sydney's grin widened and Vaughn was now faced with competing visions of Satanic Sydney and Sydney the Elf. 

"What if we made our own noise?"

Vaughn gaped at Sydney. Sydney giggled at the bemused look on her handler's face. She could see just the tiniest hint of wanton curiosity buried within Vaughn's piercing green eyes. 

Vaughn started fervently shaking his head and back stepping his way to the opposite side of the room. "No, absolutely not!"

"We are in a sleazy motel, Vaughn. This is what people do in places like these." She stifled another fit of giggles.

Vaughn's heart began to race as he pictured the two of them rolling around on that tiny bed he was facing, groping each other's naked bodies. His palms were sweating as an involuntary stir in his nether regions sent tingles down to his toes. "There has to be another way," he began. "What if we just snore really loud or something?" Vaughn shrugged at his lame offering.

"Come on, Vaughn. You know you want this," Sydney trailed off in her most seductively breathy voice. She's noticed for some time now that some of Vaughn's glances were a little longer and a little more intense than his job required. And that was just fine with Sydney. She liked him too, which would make this all the more fun. 

His breathing became shallower and more frequent. His elvin agent was looking him head to toe, with a lingering glance in the direction of the one part of his body he wasn't sure he could control much longer. His legs were growing weak and as his heart began racing. He was sure that if he didn't die of a heart attack within the next five minutes, he would instead collapse to the floor in a fit of paralysis. And at the mercy of his insane but beautiful agent, he noted. Another glimpse of Satanic Sydney flashed before his eyes. "You're insane."

Sydney burst into another fit of giggles. "Um, not quite yet," she assured the sweaty and handsome CIA senior officer. "So Mr. Vaughn... when do I get to be handled by my handler?" Did I really just say that? Out loud? Francie would have called me a skank if she'd have heard! Still, she had to admit she was having fun. More fun than she's allowed herself to have in several months. Sydney reassured herself that all would be redeemed when she eventually told him the attraction was mutual. He may even find this funny, at some point in the distant future. Maybe.

"Sydney, this--this is unequivocally inappropriate," Vaughn stammered. His hands were shaking and sweat beads multiplied quickly across his brow. The muscles in his pelvic region tightened as he bravely fought his arousal. Soon they would be screaming for release or a cold shower. At the thought of taking a shower, Vaughn was caught in a vision of handler and agent, naked and writhing against the shower wall. He shook it away and vowed never to watch another late night Showtime movie again. "Uh-unless you want me pulled off your file permanently we cannot even finish this discussion, Sydney!" He squeaked when he said her name. Did I just squeak? What am I? Fifteen? He continued to scold himself, calling up images of his mother, Weiss, Haladki--anything that would erase the current one of Satanic Sydney standing before him, her arrow-pointed tail sinuously wagging behind her naked red body. 

Sydney vowed to herself that she would find a way to share this little adventure with Francie tomorrow, even at the expense of being called a skank. "Oh Vaughny, I won't hurt you!" Sydney moved closer to him and smiled as a wift of his cologne was captured by her nose.

"No! You stay away from me!" Vaughn held his arms out, waving her away. 

Sydney was desperately clinging to one last shred of control when Vaughn back stepped flat against the wall, beads of sweat covering his worried and furrowed brow. His face was beat red and the veins in the side of his neck were pushing against his skin. She could see her handler desperately fighting to maintain his composure. I am SO going to Hell when I die. "Come on, Vaughny... let's make some noise!" Sydney cooed as she inched closer to her shaking handler.

"Sydney, I can't--I mean, I can, but we can't--" Vaughn trailed into silence. He no longer possessed the ability to form complete sentences, thanks to the hint of her perfume that wafted its way to his flaring nostrils. Vanilla... dear God in Heaven, why did she have to smell edible? He involuntarily licked his lips.

Sydney burst into crazed giggles as she tapped a shaking, sweating, and swearing Vaughn against the wall. Sydney raised to her tip toes and cooed into his ear "it is for the good of the country, after all..."

A shaky, raspy breath escaped Vaughn's quivering lips as Sydney continued to whisper into his ear.

***********************************

UNDISCLOSED MOTEL, ROOM 2-D

A thud against the wall startled them both.

"Wh-what was that?" Alexis jumped, her strawberry blonde bob of curls bouncing with the movement.

"I, I really don't care!" Marshall answered as he gently pulled his date back to the bed. "All I care about is you, KittyMew!" He smiled at his own charm.

Alexis couldn't suppress a giggle as Marshall began nibbling on her ear. Her eyes fluttered closed as his shaky hands resumed their jittery fondling and fumbling, struggling furiously with the hooks on Alexis' black lace bra.

Another thud knocked the poorly painted farm scene off the tacky orange painted wall. 

"There it is again!" Her brown eyes flew open. 

"Get your han--now stop that!" The man next door yelled. Alex laughed out loud. "What are they doing next door?"

"A-Alex," Marshall stammered, himself gaping at the direction of their temporary neighbors. "We are in a motel. I mean, you know, it's not like a lot of people come here, well, for other, you know..."

A third thump against the wall.

Alexis squirmed out of Marshall's arms, ran to the wall and planted an ear against it. He heaved a disappointed sigh, but dreamily admired the sight of her voluptuous body pressed against the wall.

"Oh sweet Jesus," Alexis heard a female voice drawl. "Why I've never seen one that big!" The woman next door giggled.

"Well," the man squeaked and then cleared his throat. "You just ain't been looking in the right direction, Little Miss-ay!" He drawled.

"I reckon there's a lot of things I've never seen up close and all personal-like." The woman giggled again.

Alexis tried to press her ear even closer to the wall, squishing part of her nose against it in the attempt. She motioned for Marshall to come listen as well.

*****************************

UNDISCLOSED MOTEL, ROOM 2-C

Sydney had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Hearing Vaughn use that comically exaggerated drawl was almost too much for her. And the look on his face was priceless. He really was a very handsome man, and those startling good looks with the blushing in those dimpled cheeks of his made him simply adorable. She again noted the stirring scent of his cologne and fought the urge to reach her hand around his waist and pinch his second set of cheeks. I wonder if those are dimpled as well, she pondered as Vaughn leaned toward her ear. 

"You are so going to owe me for this!" Vaughn shakily whispered. "And stop laughing--you have no idea how wrong what you just did was!"

Sydney's eyes flew open. "I didn't quite catch that, Sugar. You want me to put my mouth where?"

Vaughn's eyes flew open. Sydney's shoulders were shaking with silent laughter. His eyes involuntarily darted to the bare flesh peeking from the scooped neck of her pink tee-shirt as it bounced with her stifled laughter. He felt even more blood rush to his facial cheeks as tingles danced across those below his belt. 

"Is this good for ya, Sugar-Cheeks?" Sydney nodded to Vaughn, indicating his turn to respond.

Sugar Cheeks? Vaughn mouthed the words back to Sydney, whose peeking flesh bounced more frequently. He involuntarily turned his head from her as the competing Satanic Sydney and Sydney the Elf were again dancing before his eyes. She leaned up toward his ear and whispered again. 

Did he imagine things, or did Sydney just graze his ear lobe with her teeth?

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CHAPTER 2 COMING SOON!!


	2. Getting Real

"What are you doing, Sydney?" Vaughn managed. She had pulled away from him, but he could still feel her breath on his sweaty skin. He blinked away Santanic Sydney and her self-fondling tail. "You just nibbled on my ear."

"I, um," Sydney snapped her spine into its most perfect posture. "My neck twitched while I was whispering." She felt the blood rush to her face and cursed herself for coming up with such a lame excuse.

Vaughn raised an eyebrow. "Your neck twitched?" 

"That's what I said. Now," Sydney raised her brow and started fondling the buttons on Vaughn's pale blue shirt.

"Will you stop that!" Vaughn ordered, lightly slapping Sydney's persistant hands away.

"But you're sweating. You need to take this off and cool down," Sydney smiled innocently.

"If you would just leave me alone, I would cool down!"

"But I can't leave you alone," she grinned. "Who will protect you from the mean SD-6 men outside?" Sydney innocently batted her doe-eyes. And then she grinned.

Dear God, not that wicked grin again! Vaughn started praying to God, Allah, Buddha... whoever was on duty that day and cared at all about a lowly CIA agent just trying to serve his country.

"Honestly," Sydney's began. "You CIA officers make me sick." She winked, negating the effect of the disgust dripping in her voice. Sydney sidled closer to Vaughn, slowly licking her lips.

Vaughn caught another wiff of Sydney's vanilla scented perfume. Cookies. Alice hated when I ate cookies in bed. Once she even spanked me for it. Spanked me right on my-- "S-Sy-Sydney... you need to step away now. I am not kidding."

Sydney lunged for Vaughn and lapped at his face, lapping from the bottom of his left jaw upwards to his blushing cheek. She snapped back onto her heels just as quickly, batting her deceptively innocent eyes at him.

"You licked my face," he mumbled. Chester used to lick my face. He also used to hump my leg and got the poodle next door pregnant. Doggy style. Vaughn shook away his last thought. 

"I'm sorry--I didn't quite catch that?"

"You licked my face." Vaughn's expression was frozen in a state of shock. 

"I understand," Sydney sweetly smiled and again batted her eyes.

"No," Vaughn corrected. "No, you don't really. YOU LICKED MY FACE! What are--what the hell is wrong with you? You're making sexual overtures when SD-6 is outside... you licked my face! Does this seem like normal behavior to you?"

Sydney laughed heartily. "But Vaughny--"

"Stop calling me that," he huffed. "Call me Vaughn. Call me Michael. Call me anything but that."

"Okay, Mikey."

He shot an icy look at Sydney. "Also not acceptable. Its Michael Vaughn. Not Mike. Not Mikey. Not Vaughny. Got it?" He arched an expectant brow at his agent.

"Um-hmm." Sydney smiled and tilted her head to the side. "You know, you're kind of cute when you're angry."

Vaughn rolled his eyes. "You really need to get out more."

"Nope, I get out enough with my job, thanks. Now if you'll just hand me your belt--"

"My belt? What do you--"

"I need it," she giggled.

"Oh you need something, alright. But its not my belt." Vaughn blushed as he realized the double meaning of his words. Doesn't matter. Forget about it. "This isn't funny, Sydney. Everything you've done tonight--including licking me--is against CIA protocol. I could lose my job!"

"Bummer for the girls at the office. No more Vaughnylicous eye candy."

"What?"

"Say, I've been wondering something about that CIA protocol." Sydney began matter-of-factly. "Doesn't Langley have anything better to do than issue mandates on dating?"

"No, as a matter of fact they don't."

"Well, it's stupid."

"Langley would disagree. Seems when people date fellow agents, they become emotionally attached and their judgment is impaired. But then you'd know that if you'd have listened to me when I ranted about Dr. Barnette." 

"I did listen. I had nothing of value to say in response."

"Since when does the value of your words make a difference?"

Sydney glared at Vaughn. Her gaze wandered down to Vaughn's belt. 

"What are you looking at? Dear God, you weren't serious!"

"I have an idea."

"Well it certainly shouldn't involve anything down there!"

Sydney ignored her handler and reached her hand out for the belt. Vaughn slapped at her hands and pushed them away. "There's nothing there--"

"Oh, that's such a shame. And you'd have had such cute children, too."

"NOTHING. THAT. YOU. NEED." Vaughn methodically enunciated. 

"I think I can decide what I need, thanks. Wait," Sydney's ears perked towards the door. "What was that?"

Vaughn looked past Sydney to the door and listened. "I don't hear anything," he calmly whispered.

"Well I heard something. Like a door closing."

Vaughn continued focussing on their room's door and intently listening for noises in the distance.

Meanwhile, Sydney grinned wickedly as she reached for his belt. She unbuckled it. 

"Sydney!" He yelped.

"Vaughn, you look so--so tense," Sydney began. 

Vaughn dropped his head down to look, and snapped back upright. His face flamed read. I can't believe she tricked me like that. "You're dangerously close to making me angry, Sydney."

"Really? I like it when you're angry." She smiled sweetly.

"You don't understand how men process things, Sydney. What you're doing--what you've been doing--creates physical reactions that are extremely difficult to control."

"Physical reactions?" Sydney repeated. "So if I were to undress, throw myself onto the bed, and ask you to make hot stinky monkey love to me, it would only be a physical thing?" She smiled innocently. 

"Yes, that's right," Vaughn's voice squeeked as he chased away the mental image of the two of them doing exactly that.

"Well, that's good enough for me," Sydney shrugged. She walked over to the bed and lay across it, lounging seductively on her side. She propped herself up on an elbow and started seductively curling her finger. "Get over here, Vaughny," she beckoned.

Danger Will Robinson. Danger. Vaughn was silent as he stood, frozen in place. "No, I'm fine right here." He was tense now, his need colliding with his logic. This is getting way too real.

"Pretty please, with sugar on top?" Sydney smiled her most captivating smile, dimples fully deployed.

"That's enough Sydney," Vuaghn snapped. "This has to stop right now. There are things you don't know."

Sydney sat up, facing Vaughn. She was angry now, but he wasn't sure he cared anymore. 

"Well then tell me," she snapped in response. "For Gods' sake, Vaughn, just tell me!"

A knock on the door caught each of their attention. Vaughn motioned for Sydney to hide in the bathroom. She lept off the bed and quickly obeyed. Once she was safely out of the way, Vaughn walked to the door. "Who is it?" he called through the door. He placed his left hand on the butt of his gun.

"Jiminy Cricket."

Vaughn knew that sarcasm anywhere. He heaved a sigh of relief and removed his hand from his gun. He unlatched the door motioned for Eric Weiss to step inside. 

Weiss inhaled deeply and looked around the room. 

"So what's going on, Weiss?" Vaughn was grateful for this distraction. He didn't want to know what would have happened if he and Sydney continued this game.

Weiss' eyes were fixed at Vaughn's undone belt. "Funny," he replied with a grin and raised eyebrow. "I could ask you the very same thing. Is there anything you'd like to tell me, Vaughn?"

Vaughn's brow furrowed in confusion. He rolled his eyes. The belt, stupid. He pivoted to the side, hiding his red face, and hastilly rebuckled his belt. 

"Sydney missed a meeting with Sloane. Jack covered, but ten minutes later called screaming questions and accusations at Devlin, who in turn screamed more questions and more accusations at me. I told him I'd find you. You know," Weiss began as he craned his neck around the motel room. "I think I've been here before. You know their bed vibra--"

"Sydney," Vaughn called out, interrupting what could only be another edition of Weiss's Guide to One Night Stands. 

Sydney slowly opened the bathroom door and joined the two CIA agents. The three of them stood in a triangle facing each other as Sydney explained about Marshall being next door and the SD-6 tail and not having any other way out of the room and that they had needed a distraction to blend into the atmosphere.

Weiss nodded and looked at Vaughn. "I told you the motel room was a bad idea."

"Shut up."

"You know what Haladki's going to do now, right?"

"Yeah, he'll run to Devlin and report me." 

"Not if I tell Devlin what happened, first," Sydney offered. She put a hand on Vaughn's shoulder and smiled at Weiss. "Vaughn was a perfect gentleman tonight. Even a manhandling double agent couldn't shake him. The boy done good!" She flashed her winningest smile at Weiss.

Vaughn dropped his head, closed his eyes, and shook his head. He could feel the blush blazing across his face and felt a pinch on his left facial cheek. And another on his right other cheek. He shot a warning look at Sydney, who smiled sweetly in response.

"So Michael, you wanna go get drunk? I know this great club," he began, throwing an arm around Vaughn's shoulders. "There's this dancer there that looks just like--"

"Absolutely not!" Vaughn snapped. "A sports bar, or maybe a pick-up game of hockey. But no women. Got that Weiss? No women!" 

Vaughn huffed something in French as he stormed out of the room.

Weiss leaned toward Sydney. "What's that all about?" 

"I don't know," she shrugged and flashed Weiss her most innocent face. He shrugged in response and followed his friend. 

Syndey watched Weiss leave, waited another 5 minutes, and made her own departure. She made a mental note to ask Vaughn what collogne he wore during their next briefing. For Will's birthday, seven months away.

THE END.


End file.
